Blast From The Past - A Slap In Our Faces

Manmohan singh is by far the most effeminate and spineless prime minister the country has seen since independence. I would rank him the worst prime minister ever if given a chance, solely because of this trait. Okay lets be fair here to Shri DEVE GOWDA. We can never take away that rare distinction from the son of the soil. So what ? The head of the state (not titular for petes sake, but the real one) for India is its prime minister for all practical purposes. And such a head of state or national leader should seek to represent India's demography. A demography that is far from effeminate, whatever else we might be, we are not spineless. We are a land which has given birth to fearless men like Subhash Chandra Bose, Chandrasekhar Azad and Bhagat Singh. We as a demography have shown a lot of inner strength and courage and enduring spirit and all that bullshit.
And what does this guy{?} Manmohan do ??? Why...I would say that even Mrs. Indira Gandhi (I adore that woman) had more balls than this wimp. Manmohan singh has scored so much on the incompetence scale that he is neck to neck with Deve Gowda. One encouraging factor in Singh's case is that hes still got a few months to go. We can hope fervently that he would do his best in making the next few months the worst ones in India's history. God forbid nothing similar to the Mumbai attacks happen in any other state.
Of late I hear Manmohan has been studying dog psychology. Maybe its with a view to gaining a better understanding on how to lick his mistresses boots with even more spineless loyalty. What a dedicated man. The issue here is of a different nature though. Manmohan was seen voicing patriotic sentiments (maybe the earth will stop rotating now) asking Mumbaikars to continue keeping a brave face in the after math of the blasts, the last time around. Thats like asking a smiling man who has received a fantastic slap on his cheek to keep on smiling no matter what. All this has forced me to coin a new expansion for the abbreviation - UPA - Unbelievably pathetic Assholes or Useless Pimping Assholes. I leave you to pick the best choice. I knew then that the next time scores of people die from a blast planted by terrorists, these incompetent 'hijras' would again come out and urge people to be brave in the face of terror and do nothing. These blundering baboons that we have elevated to power should be strapped to iron chairs with a hole in the seat and administered an enema of unpinned grenades and have their chest hairs extracted over an open fire at five minute intervals for what they have done to the country since independence. Damn all politicians to the deepest pits of hell. I salute and pray for the souls of the martyred men and women of Mumbai. I salute our armed forces who helped us retain some semblance of self respect by ridding us of the terrorist menace despite the ineptitude of our political system. I salute the grit and resilience of the people of Mumbai. I piss on Manmohan Singh and Vilasrao Deshmukh for showing Mother India in such a pathetic light to the rest of the world. I puke on Shivaraj Patil and the entire lot of our politicians. And I wonder what poor sissy Chidambaram is gonna do now that hes been given all the unwanted responsibility. Maybe he'll lock up his door more tightly at night and wolf down his usual curd rice mixed with sambar and go to sleep under his wife's pallu. I wonder. I was watching TV the other day and I think it serves the Kerala PM right to be snubbed by the distraught parent of one of our brave soldiers who was martyred in the Mumbai tragedy. The CM who predictably turned into a blabbering baffoon on national TV when he was shown the door in a not so subtle manner by the Martyred Majors father, deserved what he got. Ditto the other smiling ape on TV, the Kerala home minister. God knows if they both know how to properly speak a sentence in English without screwing up. Did either of them go to college ? If they did they'd have been retired from respectable jobs by now. How do these idiots manage to run the state ?? Look around and you will see the answer. There aint an inch of road without a ditch. Of course we know that these opportunistic politicians dont give a shit about people dying. So many brave men have lost their lives to uphold the principles that the Indian people hold dear. But these corrupt, irresponsible, incompetent assholes that we have elected and put in place and Im talking about the hijra band of Sonia Gandhi, have reduced patriotism to a vulgar farce. Agreed that we should be united. But thats not just to be idle bystanders. We need to do something. We need to bring in a presidential system and amend the monumental blunder of Nehru (who was besotted with English Legislative system and adopted a similar one for India) which is called the Indian Constitution. This inept government has got to go and thats for sure but dont ask me whom we should replace them with. I honestly dont know. I wish these terrorists blew up the entire parliament when it was in full session. That would rid us of half our problems right there. We dont need these senile septuagenarians who are inept and without spirit and are concerned only about increasing their bank balances or about their next foreign visit. These morons dont represent the India I live in, the India of today. They belong to a generation which grew up learning to live with and revel in corruption, incompetence, inefficiency and exhibit a gutless cringing attitude which would put a doormat to shame.
But we the young India are not burdened by the ghosts of our past. We dont have to accept things as they are. We wont let ourselves be bullied. We wont sit around with our thumbs up our asses staring open mouthed into oblivion and wondering what went wrong. We wont let those who come into our dear motherland and wreak havoc in the heart of our cities and homes and lives get away scot free. We wont stand by idly and watch out great nation being raped incessantly like a war refugee and do nothing. Its time to blow the conch shell of aggression and stop the villains from taking our magnanimous tolerance as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Lets start giving back as good as we get.

Back to Blogging !

Here I am. Back again. Blogging. I got too tired of pressing the keys on my keyboard and so I decided to take a break. Anyways, I knew that it would end up like this after the initial spurt. Loosing steam early on is habitual. Whenever I take up something new, I promise myself that I would see it through but invariably something else takes up my fancy and I run after it and leave the one I was actually attending to in the first place midway. This has usually been the case with most fancy hobbies or pursuits that Ive tried getting into. But I must say that Ive always seen serious things through. Like for eg. a movie or a bottle of beer (grin). Actually movies were the thing that took my focus off blogging. You see, im into downloading DVD quality movies these days. Have built up quite a collection. But now that im getting bored with that too, Ive started to blog again hoping i would be able to somehow reinvigorate the sedate spirit of blogging that shrivelled up and died inside me and take this up atleast on a weekly basis, if not daily....even monthly would do just fine.......???

Virtual Life Avatars And Interactive Online Games

I was playing a new online interactive game today. Its called Second Life. Its been around for quite sometime but I learnt about it only a few months ago. Not my fault. I was neck deep in plasters and bandages. Well, this virtual game, what it does is that it lets you enter a virtual world peopled by real humans from across the planet. People just like you and me actually or maybe psychos, sexual offenders and weirdos of every colour...who knows. Anyway, once you get yourself registered by choosing a first and last name from a rather thin list which cant be amended or modified in anyway and lets you unhappily end up with names like Thomas Utterfailure or Michael Moonshine,you can enter the world. Mine was Lucifer Blackheart. Now, if you are a paid member you get a home and a job and some cash to begin your life in the virtual world which is unfair...unfair because they dont provide a chick as well. You have to pay the game developers in US dollars for getting the virtual currency credited in your name. Its with the virtual currency that you improve your lifestyle and buy accessories and stuff. 1000 units of the virtual currency would cost you around 5 US dollars. You get to choose an avatar for yourself and customize everything about the avatar from head to toe. You can converse with other users who are in your vicinity by chatting with them through IM or Voice Chat. I have just begun to explore the game and am finding it very tough. That's something which is guaranteed by the developers. Or maybe Im just too old and dumb to play games anymore. You need to get used to living in that virtual world and that happens in good time. Check it out. Do a google search for Second Life and see what comes up. Its widely reputed to be extremely addictive once you get the hang of it. Its probably a safer option for hardcore junkies. They can get doped in the virtual world without frying their brains in the actual one. Mostly people enter the world to have virtual sex. Yes, arent you surprised ??? Im not...there are a lot of horny people out there. Trust me. So, that is the primary attraction but there is also the possibility that you could end up hoarding a lot of virtual currency, in which case you can convert it to real dollars. The exchange rate is not known to me, you could check it up on google. Some time back, I watched a movie called "The Thirteenth Floor". The story is about virtual worlds devcloped by real jobless people and peopled by virtual people who have no idea that they are living in a fake world. It was a very thought provoking movie. So thought provoking that I had to take a nap every 10 minutes just to reboot my brain before focussing on the next part. SL is somewhat similar I think and I think that not because I dozed of the last time I was playing it.
But seriously, the possibilities for development of this game are immense. As our technology grows maybe we can get to experience the sights, smells, sounds and physical sensations that we feel in the virtual world by just plugging into some gadget. And I know how some people are going to make use of that. Grin !

Heat, Sweat, Humidity And Skewered Pigs

Boy ! Am I tired. The heat here is stifling and drains you. Bangalore was heaven. Here the air is grossly impregnated with humidity. You realize that when you start sweating the moment the fan is turned off. Two or three baths a day would be the norm for people who have any sense of hygiene or have the slightest bit of sympathy for other peoples nostrils. And body hair is an absolute no no. The more waxed up your body is the less is the discomfort associated with sweating. I've heard people say that they are sweating bullets. How can u sweat bullets ? You can sweat only sweat or I could say that "you can only sweat sweat". Now the thing in quotes looks very weird I have to say.
Even if the droplets of sweat that you exude are king size that doesn't make them resemble bullets by any stretch of imagination. Bullets are hard and steely and bring up images of blood and death to your mind when mentioned. It would be better to say that I'm sweating litres or higher measures of liquid volume in the metric system. Some also say that they are sweating like pigs. Do pigs sweat ? Ive seen pigs only a handful of times and that too not at a close range. I prefer keeping my distance. They aren't so hygienic if you know what I mean. And all those times I haven't seen their skin shine with sweat. Maybe its got to do with my poor eyesight. But I can vouch for the fact that they are dirty animals. They eat their own shit it seems. The other day I learnt that pigs die a horrible death at the hands of the butcher. They are not butchered in the usual way that other animals are - their heads aren't chopped off ! They actually don't have a neck and are hence fatally sodomized. Ouch ! Skewered is the word actually. Cant even imagine getting an enema for myself. Just imagine what the poor pigs must be going through just to be dead meat for pork crazy non vegetarians. The Chinese....yeah, they are the assassins. Chinese food invariably always contains pork unless its Gobi Manchurian or some such Indianized Chinese veg food that's being ordered. No offence to Chineese people. I eat a lot of chineese food. I dig Chineese chicks too. Infact, I would love to go to China and eat some Sushi and prance around in a kimono. Or was that Japan ? Oh please, if nothing else I love Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee. So dont bother trying to brand me a racist.

Vaastu Shastra, Superstitions and Swindling Preachers

My introduction was made today with a new science. The science of vaastu sastra. An ancient Indian science which deals with construction of buildings, mostly dwellings. Supposedly, the design or layout by which a house is constructed affects its inhabitants in awesome unknown ways. If you don't get the vaastu right, you don't get anything else right. The good thing is that there are remedial measures which albeit costly can give you the much needed sense of satisfaction of having ironed fatal architectural flaws that were previously unknown but present in your house. Its all in the mind I would say. Some people go to the extent of demolishing whole sections of their house which were marked as tainted by Vaastu experts and reconstructing them at great cost. Our house has a bunch of irregularities it seems as per vaastu. For me such things have always evoked an interest. It is mysterious, this science, and has a lot of unexplained illogical practices associated with it. My interest in it is third person in nature. I am interested in knowing and understanding but not in practising such weird sciences and haven't been prey to dodgy guys who ruin your peace of mind by planting all sorts of weird vaastu anomalies and their wicked consequences in your head. Once it gets personal, knowing that U might be affected by the faulty vastu in the form of gory early snuffing out of your life or huge losses in business or chance of a fire, flood and umpteen number of calamities, scares the living daylights out of anyone. By Jove if one attaches so much importance to mundane things like the shape of a window or the colour of your wall or the length and breadth of your bedroom, life would become intolerable. We all live in the cozy world of ignorance. Let it be. At least you have your peace of mind.

Sleep Deficiency

I always wanted to write about sleep. After all it is the prime activity which we involve ourselves in, spending half our life time indulging in it and the other half, working our way into it by tiring ourselves out. My sole reason for touching upon this topic is my inability to think properly as my brain is lulled by the sweet images of a warm bed with blankets and a monkey cap in case of emergencies. Lack of sleep can be damaging. Cells die at a relatively higher rate among insomniacs than among people who sleep at least eight hours a day. Learning to effectively shut out thoughts that hamper you progress into blissful sleep is an effective remedy to the malady of insomnia and can be implemented through self help and practice. A few more minutes of staying awake and I might end up producing high quality bullshit courtesy sleep deficiency.

Fortune, Shares And The Stock Markets

Ive come to realize over the past few months how fickle ones fortunes could turn out to be when it comes to the stock market. Ive had these insights mainly from my trepid forays into the stocks and shares territory. There is a method to my madness. My venturing into this field is to be attributed to the lure of unimaginable wealth proliferation advocated by greedy entrepreneurs looking to swindle the common man of his hard earned money. Sassy brokers with slick gelled hair roaming around sniffing for greed and investment insecurity do not present a rosy picture of the future of your money. Yet this happens to be the prime draw for everybody. The fact that the veterans too can err. That vulnerability to deceptive trends is not subject to the monopoly of a chosen few. On the other hand if you are a broker who invests his clients money, the dream shot to wealth and prosperity that is pumped up by commission percentages could easily turn around and result in multiple kicks by enraged clientele on your backside as you run looking for cover. I really don't care much for brokers. They learnt their trade through experience. They cant predict, so cant you. Y trust them more than yourself then ? Stock brokers, they may get away with murder. Murdering your stocks on the floor of the stock market, snuffing out the light in your life. An eventuality that should have been inferred from the maniacal glow you saw in your stock brokers eyes the first time you mentioned investment. Step cautiously, not into this field but away from it.This is no time to invest in offshore IT companies. Invest in India, in our Desi products. The ones that we export to third world countries less fortunate than us or more fortunate...actually it does not matter what their economic status is. The only thing to look out for is their imperviousness to fluctuations in the economy registered by the G8 countries. Does any of this make sense ? My disclaimer is that those who find this stuff sensible are encouraged to practice it at their own risk. If you loose your money listening to me I am not to blame.

Trends In The Job Market, Renewable Energy Sources And Other Nonsensical Ramblings

The human mind is unique and wonderful. So wonderful that it has propelled human beings from relative obscurity at the bottom of the food chain to the top where they sit pretty gobbling up species after species and erasing eco systems in the blink of an eye. This is no mean achievement. The process has involved thousands of years of struggle. A struggle which was fuelled by the fact that human beings were physically inferior to most other species on this planet. The mind being the greatest asset is responsible for our survival as well as our steady progress in terms of culture and technological achievements. Getting your daily bread, to start off was a simple process. All you needed was agility and the right weapon and basic hunting skills. The birth of civilization changed all that. The human being evolved complex systems for social survival and feeding oneself lost priority and other aspects of life gained more importance.
In today's world getting food on the table alone would not suffice. When your social status is determined by criteria ranging from the kind of dwelling you live in to the kind of transportation you use to get around, you need to earn much more than what is enough to feed yourself. To fund his residence in a mansion or penthouse and his privilege to drive a Mercedes or a Porsche, the modern worker has had to develop his skills in tune to the market needs. These skills are costly to acquire and costlier to upgrade. Without consistent periodic up gradation, our skills would stagnate, our resource pool would become redundant. You would be an extinct species in the job market.
Over the years the states economic policies have increasingly attuned themselves to global trends. Globalisation and emergence of the free world market have all contributed generously to raising the bar on worker quality. The more you work, the more you earn and the more you spend, the more you need to earn again coz of all the spending and you spend even more to train yourself and gain skills to earn even more and again after sometime you go back to acquire more skills at a greater cost and then the cost of living goes up and again you look to earn even more and finally one day you get a heart attack from all that stress. Its a vicious circle that ends only with your death. This phenomenon is akin to farting when you think about it. The more you treat yourself to rich fancy food, the more noxious, toxic and potent would your fart be. The more you fart , the more you feel like gorging on rich food and once you gorge you start farting again. Some even grow so fond of their fart that they eat stuff just to fart. But farting is fun. All of us fart. There are some people who are born farters and there are some who grow old by cheerfully farting away. These old farts have such enthusiasm for the business of exuding foul smelling gasses from within their stomachs through the puckered little hole in their backside that it would put steam spouts in outback Australia to shame. There are not many people around who have not undergone the trauma of inhaling vicious nasty after-farts through their nostrils. It might be fun for the perpetrators. But it ain't no fun for the hapless victims. Instead of shrugging away a hot fart with your nasal canal tightly sealed, one should sit up and take notice of the vast potential swirling within a hot smelly fart awaiting release. Our country is facing acute shortage of non renewable energy sources. Gober gas, bio gas and natural gas have had their fair share of popularity and have outrun their usefulness and productivity. Its high time the experts conjured up a new gaseous solution to our growing fuel needs. A small fart for a man might be the big leap in tapping new energy resources for mankind. A fart in time saves nine. Gobble up generous helpings of a combination of boiled eggs, mashed potatoes and cashew nuts, all thrown in and mixed uniformly and the ensuing fart could be the much sought after healthier substitute for chloroform. Think about the possibilities, the avenues that can open up in the wake of a fart. Think big, think fart. An idea can change our life. Grab this opportunity to realize your potential. Touch lives and be famous. Give back to society in a greater measure than what society has given to you, keep giving until they beg you to stop.

Relationships, Marriage and Monologues

I never really understood the reason why some people write short comments, treatises, monologues and the like. Now I do. Its to bring out whats welling up inside and is triggered by events either closely or distantly associated with the particular problem that's vexing the author. Having adopted a stoical approach to life and wishing to go ahead in a manner whereby I never give people around me a chance to say that Ive partook of any favours that I have no right to, I deem every success or failure as an occasion for celebrating my cynical stance on life. Hypocrisy is a vice far worse than procrastination. I am privy to the latter and am extremely taxed by the natural consequences of having these character traits which pose as stumbling blocks in every endeavour of mine.

Relationships are mutable to say the least. The paths they traverse are twisted like a tortured snakes trail. People change with time. The only true relationship is that of a parent and a child. But that again is affected as the loyalty of the parent gets stretched taut on various occasions where his or her decisions affect more than one child's future. The parent is forced to effect a compromise between what is right for the best child perceived, in question, rather than what is right. That makes me think if I would be a good father when the time comes. I seriously hope so. I break into cold sweat when I picture a future wherein I'm changing nappy pads and rocking the cradle at odd hours of the night. I don't think id get married at all. Too much responsibility and i can proudly say that Ive always successfully steered clear of any kind of responsibility that has come my way so far in life. All you married idiots out there with kids...what were u thinking ???

Y Blog ???

The main reason - I love writing and showing off my literary skills (presuming rather optimistically that I possess any in the first place), hence the blog. I also entertain the belief that constant blogging is bound to weed out the flaws in your writing skills and make a better writer out of U. As you can probably make out I am pretty rusty ! That is because the last time I wrote something creative was for the finals of my english exam in twelfth standard. These woefully wobbly, pathetic first steps into the world of blogging would hopefully become firm confident steps towards blogging perfection as I start to write my heart off on this little piece of private space that I have acquired on the world wide web. Thanks Blogspot.

P.S: I also hope that someone sees all this crap im writing down and gives me a job. One which would let me write even more and earn like 1000 bucks per page :). A work from home solution to my financial needs. Doesnt cost anything to dream does it ???