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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Trends In The Job Market, Renewable Energy Sources And Other Nonsensical Ramblings

The human mind is unique and wonderful. So wonderful that it has propelled human beings from relative obscurity at the bottom of the food chain to the top where they sit pretty gobbling up species after species and erasing eco systems in the blink of an eye. This is no mean achievement. The process has involved thousands of years of struggle. A struggle which was fuelled by the fact that human beings were physically inferior to most other species on this planet. The mind being the greatest asset is responsible for our survival as well as our steady progress in terms of culture and technological achievements. Getting your daily bread, to start off was a simple process. All you needed was agility and the right weapon and basic hunting skills. The birth of civilization changed all that. The human being evolved complex systems for social survival and feeding oneself lost priority and other aspects of life gained more importance.
In today's world getting food on the table alone would not suffice. When your social status is determined by criteria ranging from the kind of dwelling you live in to the kind of transportation you use to get around, you need to earn much more than what is enough to feed yourself. To fund his residence in a mansion or penthouse and his privilege to drive a Mercedes or a Porsche, the modern worker has had to develop his skills in tune to the market needs. These skills are costly to acquire and costlier to upgrade. Without consistent periodic up gradation, our skills would stagnate, our resource pool would become redundant. You would be an extinct species in the job market.
Over the years the states economic policies have increasingly attuned themselves to global trends. Globalisation and emergence of the free world market have all contributed generously to raising the bar on worker quality. The more you work, the more you earn and the more you spend, the more you need to earn again coz of all the spending and you spend even more to train yourself and gain skills to earn even more and again after sometime you go back to acquire more skills at a greater cost and then the cost of living goes up and again you look to earn even more and finally one day you get a heart attack from all that stress. Its a vicious circle that ends only with your death. This phenomenon is akin to farting when you think about it. The more you treat yourself to rich fancy food, the more noxious, toxic and potent would your fart be. The more you fart , the more you feel like gorging on rich food and once you gorge you start farting again. Some even grow so fond of their fart that they eat stuff just to fart. But farting is fun. All of us fart. There are some people who are born farters and there are some who grow old by cheerfully farting away. These old farts have such enthusiasm for the business of exuding foul smelling gasses from within their stomachs through the puckered little hole in their backside that it would put steam spouts in outback Australia to shame. There are not many people around who have not undergone the trauma of inhaling vicious nasty after-farts through their nostrils. It might be fun for the perpetrators. But it ain't no fun for the hapless victims. Instead of shrugging away a hot fart with your nasal canal tightly sealed, one should sit up and take notice of the vast potential swirling within a hot smelly fart awaiting release. Our country is facing acute shortage of non renewable energy sources. Gober gas, bio gas and natural gas have had their fair share of popularity and have outrun their usefulness and productivity. Its high time the experts conjured up a new gaseous solution to our growing fuel needs. A small fart for a man might be the big leap in tapping new energy resources for mankind. A fart in time saves nine. Gobble up generous helpings of a combination of boiled eggs, mashed potatoes and cashew nuts, all thrown in and mixed uniformly and the ensuing fart could be the much sought after healthier substitute for chloroform. Think about the possibilities, the avenues that can open up in the wake of a fart. Think big, think fart. An idea can change our life. Grab this opportunity to realize your potential. Touch lives and be famous. Give back to society in a greater measure than what society has given to you, keep giving until they beg you to stop.

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